I’m a Christian. I’ve been a Christian since August 2003. Before January 2002, I believed in God, but wasn’t sure what the deal was with that Jesus guy. I didn’t get the whole “died for our sins” stuff, or that God could be down-to-earth, not stuffy and surrounded by pomp and circumstance. Between January 2002 and August 2003, I decided God just didn’t exist. He wasn’t real and he certainly didn’t give a flying frack about me. My great-grandfather had passed away, on his 97th birthday, and I was royally pissed. We were close, he and I. I had so much more to learn from him – about him, me, our family. That summer, my mum sent me to a Christian summer camp (which made me really angry), but I left there feeling like there might really be something to the God thing. He had let me venture out on my own and was letting me find my own way back.
The next year, possibly earlier in the very day I decided to follow Jesus for realsies, our counsellor read us a letter in bible study.
“It’s a love letter,” she said. “From God, to the world, about you.” Me? There are roughly 3 billion women in the world and God has an opinion about me. I was all ears.
I LOVE her smile. I LOVE her ways. I LOVE to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings Me great pleasure… this is how I made her. (Ps. 139:17)
I made her pretty, but not beautiful, because I know her heart, and she would be vain. I wanted her to search out her heart and to learn that it would be Me in her that would make her beautiful… and it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her. (1 Peter 3:3-5)
I made her in such a way that she would need Me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be… only because I need her to lean and depend on Me. I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own chosen way and forget Me… her creator. (ps. 62: 5-8)
I have given her many good and happy things…. because I love her. (ps. 34:11 and Rom 8:32)
Because I love her I have seen her broken, hurt… and the tears she has cried alone. I have cried them with her, and had a broken heart, too. (ps. 58:6)
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone only because she would not hold My hand. So many lessons she has learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice. (Isa. 66:2)
So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone only to watch her return to My arms, sad and broken. (Isa. 66:2)
And now she is mine again…I made her and then bought her… because I LOVE her. (Rom 5:8)
I have to reshape and remold her… to renew to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or Me. (Jer 29:11)
I want her to be conformed to My image… this goal I have set for her… because I LOVE HER! ( 2 Cor 2:14)